The Faculty Chair: Professor Liamwi Nela Raigcra

Major: The Gap-Jumping Long Jump Title: The Odds-Maker of the First Cause

The “Alien Kalam” Syllogism

Professor Raigcra is very sensitive about this specific floor routine. He usually tries to sneak a “supernatural” conclusion into the finish, but our university’s version (using the Logic-Blade) cuts right to the material truth: As taught in the Department of Mental Gymnastics

The Alien Kalam (Raigcra Edition)

1. Premise 1: Everything that begins to exist must have a cause that is material and bound by time.
2. Premise 2: The 3D Universe began to exist in a material state and within time.
3. Conclusion: Therefore, the 3D Universe has a material, time-bound cause.
4. The 11D String-Pull: Since an infinite chain of 3D causes is a “logical leg-cramp,” the cause must reside in the natural, material space of a Higher Dimension.
5. The Final Pivot: “And since a 4D realm is mathematically required, it must be inhabited. Thus, the cause is an Ancient Alien named Yahowaho, who likely created the Big Bang as a cosmic ‘Big Oops’ (fart) while playing with the 11th-dimension strings!”

Biography: The One-in-a-Million Gambler

Professor Raigcra is famous for his “Risk-Management” seminars. He teaches that even if the evidence for a god is so microscopic that you need a 5D microscope to see it, you should still act like it’s a 100% certainty.

• The Galactic Gamble: He often tells students, “If there is a one-in-a-million chance that a 4D lizard-person created this world, I’m going to spend my whole life grooming my fur to please them.”
• The Material Hook: He is terrified of things that aren’t “stuff.” If an explanation isn’t material, he gets an itchy rash, which is why he eventually concludes that the “First Cause” was just a very old alien with a very advanced 3D printer.
• The Syllogism Swing: He uses his long Gibbon arms to swing from “Cause” to “Aliens” so fast that students often get motion sickness.